Saturday, January 5, 2008

Xbox Live Status: Pending Full Functionality with 3rd Party Complicated Articulation...

...with Hybrid Error Syntax, yet Should be Running Nonetheless

If you have an Xbox 360 and you play Halo 3 or Call of Duty 4, you probably have Xbox live. If not, then you do not deserve to own those games so please return them to your nearest store accompanied with a plethora of sincere apologies.

Anybody with Xbox Live will have noticed by now that Live has not been running correctly since December 25th. Since that time, Xbox.com has explained Xbox Live's status as a multitude of positive negatives, double negatives, negative positives, and a strawberry creame puff metaphor that lost us all. It was not until we received official word from our good friend Marc Witten, General Manager of Xbox Live, that we were given a cohesive message explaining what was going on. But wait, there's more! A free Xbox Live Arcade game? Sweet mother of pearl!

Marc, thank you for thinking of me but I do not play XBLA games. I play COD4 and Halo3 and both are not working. I pay out the ass every year to play these games and if they do not work, I should receive proper compensation for that. "Proper compensation" to me is not XBLA credits, but rather a free month of Xbox Live to make up for my lost time. Mind you, the pricing here is about equal so this should not be an issue.

Many online blogs and news outlets are reporting that Xbox Live is currently up and running, but this is not true. As of today, January 5th, COD4 was working at 8:00 am EST for me and died around 9:30 am EST. The errors seem to occur right around the time when everyone logs on and so if you are logging on between 9:30 and 1:00 am on a weekend, I would expect issues. Note: As of the writing of this article, COD4 is strawberry creame puff sans puff (i.e. Not working)

I would like to wrap up with my first 2008 uber nerdy comment: Xbox Live, I am only 1000xp away from Major and I really want to get it! You have had 2 weeks to pull your socks up, bring up some extra servers to compensate for under capacity, and get your customers happy. Fix it now! Captain 2nd Class SoftCrustPizza orders it!

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